


Wizard Skills

by Worker_9



Category: Original Work
Genre: Blow Jobs, Bodily Fluids, Comedy, Cunnilingus, F/M, Hyper-cum, Magic, Succubus, Virginity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:53:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26020699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Worker_9/pseuds/Worker_9
Summary: With less than an hour to go before he turned thirty, Stan was still a virgin. He never expected a succubus to show up.Request fill for Anonymous.
Relationships: Male Virgin/Succubus
Kudos: 4





	Wizard Skills

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Anonymous](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anonymous/gifts).



Stan bounded down the rickety wooden staircase with the reckless speed that came from years of practice. His armor was in tatters, his ammo low, but his wounds didn’t slow him down. He fired his rocket launcher down the torch-lit corridor and immediately turned away, dodging and weaving to avoid any incoming shots. There was no need to wait—the sound of the explosion let him know his target was elsewhere.

He strained his ears for the sound of the enemy, all the while scanning his surroundings for clues. Above? The timing was wrong. He charged down another corridor, rounded the corner, and the last thing he saw before the explosion hit him was the flare of burning rocket propellant. Fuck. Was he really that predictable?

“gg,” said BlazeIt420.

“gg,” he typed back. “not feeling it tonight. gonna take a break”

“k. later”

Stan disconnected from the server. He took a deep breath and rested his eyes on the big-tiddy-anime-chick desktop wallpaper while his GPU fans span down. Fucking terrible performance. It wasn’t because he was getting old. It couldn’t possibly be—that wasn’t his reflexes letting him down. The game was mostly boomers anyway. He just wasn’t thinking straight.

Much as he hated to admit it, Stan’s game was off because of a fast approaching deadline. Less than an hour before the big three zero. He opened his web browser, and closed it again. Porn would only make things worse. Thirty long years and he hadn’t even kissed a girl. What fucking bullshit.

He leaned back in his gaming chair and took another sip of his sugar-free energy drink. For a moment it tasted wrong, and then he realized that the air smelled of smoke. His virginity was instantly forgotten. How long had it been since he’d cleaned the dust out of the heat sinks? Lazy cable management come back to bite him? He unfastened the side panel of his PC’s full-tower case.

Now that was puzzling. Lit by the glow of multi-colored LEDs, the inside of his PC looked completely normal. Nothing was on fire, but he could smell smoke, no doubt about it. Why hadn’t the smoke detector on his ceiling triggered?

And what on Earth was that red glow? He glanced about his room. The poster of the fire-breathing dragon on the wall above his bed was gone, and in its place was something like a large fireplace. Impossible. Stan got up and pressed the test button on the smoke detector. The ear-piercing beep confirmed it was working. That meant the flames visible through the portal in his wall were a hallucination, and he had gone insane.

He felt sane, but that didn’t prove anything. As far as he knew, all crazy people thought they were sane. The flames stubbornly continued to flicker, looking so real he could almost touch them. He could even feel the heat on his skin. It was the government’s fault, Stan decided.

What were you supposed to do when you suddenly and unexpectedly went nuts? Call an ambulance? Close your eyes and wait for the hallucination to go away? Maybe he’d had a stroke, and his brain was dying. It seemed unlikely. In every way except for the fiery portal in his wall he felt perfectly healthy. He flopped down onto the bed and buried his face in the pillow. Why did he have to go crazy now? It just wasn’t fair.

Something soft but heavy fell onto his back, knocking the wind out of him. For the first time since the incident had begun, Stan began to feel scared. Something had moved off his bed. Clenching his teeth, Stan looked up and blinked in surprise.

In the middle of his room was an attractive young woman. An attractive young woman with bright red skin, a stubby pair of horns, thigh-high black leather boots, a black leather bra, and a pair of shorts of the same material that were so short they left half her ass-cheeks exposed. She bent over to rub her butt, her long black hair spilling over her face.

“Ow, ow, ow,” said the woman. “It’s not nice to kick somebody in the butt, don’t you agree? I already said I was going.”

Hallucinations didn’t talk like that. It was some kind of prank, and Stan wasn’t going to take it. “Who are you, and why are you wearing that costume, and why are you in my room?”

She stood up straight and looked at him quizzically. “I’m your succubus, duh!” She tugged at the bra, which just barely covered her enormous breasts. “And I’m wearing my uniform just like I’m supposed to, and I’m in your room because the Grand Infernal Machine sent me.”

“And where’s the camera?” asked Stan. Why anybody would go to such an effort for a prank was uncertain, but they’d definitely want to film his reaction. That much was obvious.

The woman looked all around, and then pointed at the web-cam on top of Stan’s computer monitor. “That’s a camera! I’m right, aren’t I? It’s okay. I don’t show up on cameras. I’ll get in big trouble if anybody else sees me, you know.”

Didn’t show up on cameras? Wasn’t that supposed to be vampires? Stan pulled out his phone to confirm. Sure enough, she was completely invisible to it. So, he was definitely nuts, or dreaming. Probably dreaming, because what crazy person would hallucinate somebody like her? Might as well just go with it. “What’s your name?” asked Stan.

“Elly,” said the succubus. “What’s yours?”

“Stan.”

“You’ve gotta have sex with me!”

So this was it, huh? After all that wait, he was going to lose his virginity before he turned thirty after all? No, he couldn’t possibly be that lucky. It had to be a trap. “Why?” Stan asked.

“It’s the rules.”

“What rules?”

“ _The_ rules.” Elly jiggled enticingly and reached down into her bra to pull a little black book from between her breasts, about the size of the palm of his hand. “Look!”

“I _really really really_ need to have sex with you,” said Elly. “It’s super important. They won’t let me back if I don’t.”

“Really?” asked Stan.

“Really! It says right here:”—she opened the book and ran her finger along the page—“ ‘Strictly confidential, immortal eyes only…’ No, that’s not it… Ah! ‘When, and only when, the mortal, of his own free will, inserts, or allows to be inserted, his penis into the vagina or anus of the succubus, his soul is forfeit, to be dragged to Hell for eternal torment.’ See! That’s my job!”

“Are you sure you were supposed to tell me that?” asked Stan.

Elly frowned and silently ran her finger over the pages again while she read. A look of horror slowly dawned on her. “Oh no! Stan, you have to forget what I told you! I’m going to get in so much trouble!”

“Okay, I forgot it.”

Elly looked at him suspiciously. “Really?”

“Sure,” said Stan.

Elly smiled guilelessly at him. “Thank you so much! I’ll give you some really good sex to thank you.”

“Nice try, demon.”

She frowned again. “It’s not polite to call people the ‘D’ word.”

“But you are one, aren’t you? All that stuff about dragging my soul to Hell?”

“You said you forgot it!”

“I lied.”

“That’s so unfair! I’m bound to only tell the truth, so you’re being really mean if you lie to me.”

“And trying to steal my soul is being nice?”

“It’s my job! What else am I supposed to do?”

“So, let me get this straight, all that Hell stuff is real? Souls, afterlife, the whole religious thing?”

“Well, duh! Why else would I be here?”

Stan wasn’t religious, but he was pretty sure there was nothing in the Bible about ‘infernal machines.’ Actually, were succubi even in the Bible? This was all very suspicious. “What about Heaven?” he asked. “Is that real too?”

“Don’t ask me. I’m only a succubus.”

“Well, whatever, I’m not going to let you steal my soul. Go find somebody else.”

“It’s against the _rules_ ,” she whined.

Stan sat down on the bed and thought. “Okay, how about this. Lend me the rule book first, and I’ll have sex with you after I’ve read it.”

Elly passed him the little black book. It felt surprisingly warm and heavy in his hands. He opened it, and saw strange angular runes that shimmered on the page, warping and twisting before transforming into plain English. Well, plain enough. Somehow he wasn’t surprised that Hell was big into bureaucracy. He skimmed through the page, trying to figure out the dense legalese.

The rules were strict. She couldn’t threaten him or force herself on him, and she was indeed compelled to tell the truth. She could be deceptive within that limitation, but what kind of nerd was unfamiliar with rules lawyering? It didn’t scare him. And, more interestingly, oral sex was apparently not enough to damn you to Hell.

Stan returned the book. “I changed my mind. But maybe I’ll have sex with you if you suck my dick first.”

“Oh, good! I love sucking dick! I haven’t done it for ages and ages, but don’t worry, I’ll be really good at it. And, I just remembered, I have a special magic potion for you.” She reached inside her bra again and pulled out a small glass bottle full of blood-red liquid. “It’s completely harmless. You’ll cum way harder if you drink it. I super recommend it.”

Super suspicious too. But she couldn’t tell lies, and she said it was harmless, so why the fuck not? Stan took the potion and chugged it down. It had a lightly bitter flavor, and an oily texture that lingered in his mouth. Elly took back the empty bottle and stared at it. “Uh, I think…”

“What’s the matter?”

“Oh, bless! I forgot!”

“Forgot what?”

“You’re only supposed to drink a single drop. That’s, like, a thousand doses!”

“You said it was harmless!”

“It is harmless.” Effective too. Stan could already feel himself getting hard. Weren’t boner pills big business? If he could get the recipe for this shit he could become a billionaire. “Hurry up and get your cock out!” said Elly.

Stan unzipped his pants, and let his penis spring free. He was fully erect and pre-cum was already oozing from the tip. An abnormally large amount of pre-cum. It was flowing steadily now, dripping down his shaft. He looked for his tissue box, but Elly was faster. She knelt on the floor before him, leaned in, and ran her warm, wet tongue up his cock. Wow, that felt good.

Elly swallowed, then wrapped her fingers around Stan’s cock. The pre-cum was still flowing, pouring over her fingers and lubricating her grip. She opened her mouth wide and took the head of his penis in, sealing her lips around it and flickering her tongue over it. She pumped her hand gently, sliding it slick with pre-cum up and down his shaft.

The wetness in her mouth continued to grow as she bobbed her head up and down, all the time maintaining eye contact with her deep red eyes that glowed like hot iron in a forge. She pulled away to swallow with a wet slurping noise, letting Stan’s hard cock slap against her face, and more pre-cum poured down her hand.

“Wah!” exclaimed Elly. “So much!” She hurriedly wrapped her lips around him again, and wiped her face with the back of her other hand. She resumed her skillful motion, milking him with her hand and swirling her tongue as she bobbed her head.

The benchmark was Stan’s own hand. Sex-havers always liked to brag, but could you really beat the technique of an level 100 masturbator? He’d always been skeptical, but it turned out that a literal semen demon could do it. He took a deep breath, and felt his abs tense. She was going at it like nothing he’d seen in any video, sucking him deep inside her, gulping and slurping to swallow the unnatural flow of pre-cum.

Stan felt the tip of his cock bump against the back of her throat. Did she have no gag reflex at all? Elly pulled back a little, working her soft lips against his shaft. The feeling of tension was growing, like an electric charge building within his groin, and she didn’t slow down. He groaned softly and lay back, staring blankly at the ceiling as the supernaturally good blowjob continued.

His muscles tensed again, and Elly sucked harder. Her tongue danced over his cock like a writhing tentacle. Stan propped himself up on his elbows. She was cupping his balls with the other hand, and gently massaging them. They felt heavy, almost swollen. He inhaled through his teeth. He was seconds away at most.

Elly dropped her lips all the way to the base of his cock, taking him deep into her throat, and his orgasm hit him like an electric shock. His hard cock pulsed and twitched as a thick spray of cum coated the back of Elly’s throat. Stan gritted his teeth, his knuckles white as he squeezed the bed sheets. She was still sucking.

And still sucking. His vision blurred as the intensity of it all overwhelmed him. The pain of his fingernails digging into his palms snapped her back into focus. He held his breath, tried to get his thoughts together. She was still sucking. He was still cumming. His vision was dropping frames or something. It was unreal. 

Stan blinked and remembered to breathe. Elly’s cheeks bulged out like a hamster as he filled her mouth with cum. She swallowed with a loud squelching noise, like somebody shaking a jar of mayo. She was still sucking.

Stan began to feel worried. This was harmless? If it wasn’t for the brain-frying intensity of the sensation he would probably be seriously alarmed. Her cheeks were bulging again; more wet gulping noises. His balls were throbbing, his cock rock hard. It twitched with each heart beat, all the time spurting more cum into her mouth.

A thick glob of cum spilled out of Elly’s mouth and poured over her chin to splatter on her breasts. She didn’t seem to notice—she just kept gulping it down. Remember to breathe. Just breathe. Maybe this was what drugs were like. Hell, was it drugs? He didn’t know what was in the potion.

It couldn’t possibly be drugs. If this was some medical thing he’d have died of dehydration by now, but he felt great. Boundless waves of pleasure overtook him as the orgasm rolled on. Elly coughed and spluttered for a moment, but valiantly chugged down the unending stream of cum. Then he felt her throat constricting around him, and she coughed more violently, and pulled away.

Stan’s erect cock sprayed a fire-hose-torrent of semen over her face. She closed her eyes as the sticky white fluid splashed against her. It was on her forehead, her eyes, her nose, her hair; more and more of it, spurting out with unbelievable force. Elly managed to bring her lips back into position around the head of his cock, and desperately sucked at the continual stream of cum. She resumed swallowing.

He was feeling dizzy. It was too much, too powerful. Stan let himself fall back on the bed again and closed his eyes. The ache in his balls was growing stronger. He could still feel Elly’s lips around him, still hear the obscene slurping noises. All he could do was breathe. He could still feel her warm mouth working, still hear the noises of her swallowing, far louder than his computer fans. He had no idea how long he’d been cumming for. He groaned loudly as his cock gave a particularly hard twitch, and the stream of cum kept flowing.

And then, almost as suddenly as it had begun, the orgasm stopped. Stan was dripping with sweat, his muscles were sore, and his balls had never felt so empty. He opened his eyes again. Elly was standing with a look of blissful happiness on her face. She dipped a hand between her breasts and scooped up a handful of cum before carefully sucking it off her fingers.

It took a moment for him to realize where most of it was going. She was spilling it on the carpet! And it was all over her bra—his shirt too. And the bed. And what about his computer!? He struggled upright. At least the computer was okay.

“Yummy cum!” said Elly. “You made a whole lot!”

“You’re getting it everywhere!” Stan protested.

“I couldn’t fit it all in my mouth,” she explained.

“No! Stop that! Where’s my towel?”

Elly picked up his favorite T-shirt from the floor—the one with the print of the howling wolf—and wiped her hair with it.

“That’s not a towel!”

“You’re not very nice,” she said, pouting. “I gave you an extra good blowjob, and you’re just complaining.”

“You’re getting cum all over the place!”

“Relax! It’s no big deal. I’m a succubus, remember? I can do magic.”

“Can you clean this up?”

Elly frowned. She held out a hand and stretched out her fingers. “Does it go like this…” Her face was tight with concentration. “Oh… I just remembered something.”

“What?”

“My magic is powered by sex. And they kept me in remedial succubus training for the last 100 years. I only had simulations, and that doesn’t give any magic power at all! You better have sex with me right away.” She unbuttoned her shorts and pulled them down in one smooth motion, revealing black pubic hair. “Hurry up and put it in!”

“Do you think I’m stupid?”

“Pleeeeeeease…”

“No!”

Elly sat down on the bed next to him and spread her legs. She parted her bush with her fingers. “I want sex! Look at my pussy. Stan, I’m so horny. Just put it in—you’re getting hard again, so it’s easy. C’mon, it will feel really good. Please, Stan, I was extra nice to you and they’re going to do horrible punishments to me if I can’t seduce you. You really have to do it or I’m going to cry.”

“You can’t manipulate me that easily.”

She made a face like he’d just kicked a puppy.

“Please…”

Oh, God, she really was going to cry. Her eyes were watering already. “Look, Elly, I’m not going to fuck you. But, how about I lick your pussy?” He’d watched instructional videos, and the idea was appealing. “Will that recharge your magic?”

She was all smiles again. “Stan, you’re nice after all! I’d love that!”

“And then you’ll be able to magically clean my room?”

“Let’s try it and find out!”

Stan removed his sticky shirt and got down on the floor between her legs. At least the carpet here was mostly dry. Her pussy was already wet. He moved in closer. She smelled pretty good, although there was that subtle smokiness that seemed to cling to her. The portal to Hell was still open, so maybe that was it.

“Wait a moment,” called Elly. She reached into her cum-stained bra, and pulled out another potion bottle. Before he had time to react she opened it and drank the whole thing. Stan just looked up, shocked. Elly pouted again. “It’s only fair,” she said.

He couldn’t argue with that.

The potion seemed to take effect even quicker on Elly. Her clit grew hard and swollen. She slipped a finger inside her vagina for a moment, and a flood of juices gushed out as she removed it. Clear sticky fluid flowed and soaked into his sheets. Her pussy was clenching rhythmically, and with each contraction a wave of juices splashed onto his bed.

For a moment, all Stan could think about was how his mattress was going to be ruined.

“Come on, lick my clit!” said Elly

He was going to need a shower anyway, so why the fuck not? Stan extended his tongue and ran it up her pussy, from her wet and slippery opening to her clit. The fluid tasted lightly salty. Then, ignoring the mess she was making of his bed, he started steadily licking her clit. More and more fluid gushed out over his chin.

“Ah, yes! That’s it!” Elly continued.

Stan put two fingers inside her, partly in an attempt to stem the flow onto the sheets. Her pussy clenched around him, and the juices poured out regardless. His palm was full of it. He dipped his mouth down and swallowed some before returning to her clit.

Why was everything glowing? Stan closed his eyes, and opened them again, and it didn’t make much difference. The orange glow seemed to boil and rage. His ears were ringing. All he saw was flame, and the flames were twisting into the forms of Hell runes. He could read them perfectly:

**“DEBUG MODE”**

Normal text, he thought. The runes warped as they had in the book. The flames calmed down, and faded to a pale translucency. “Debug mode” was clearly visible in his peripheral vision, sharp and bright.

“Don’t stop now!” complained Elly. His hearing was back to normal.

Ah, yes, pussy licking. He wrapped his lips around her clit and began soft and rhythmic motion. The flow of vaginal fluids increased and spilled past his fingers. Her pubes were soaked too, sticky and clinging to his face. Stan moved his fingers and continued licking. She made appreciative moaning noises.

The text was fading. He repositioned his mouth and tried to ignore the flood of moisture dripping down his face and onto his bare chest. He licked harder, and Elly squeezed her pussy around his fingers, so wet and slippery that they almost popped out. He kept licking.

“Ah! Stan, I’m coming!” cried Elly.

She tensed her pussy hard around Stan’s fingers, and the flood of moisture came with such power as to force them out of her. Stan pulled his hand away, and the blast of pussy juices hit him full on the chin. He lifted his mouth off her clit. The spray of sticky fluid almost choked him as it went up his nostrils, and he got a mouthful as he pulled back.

Reflexively, he swallowed. More juices were hitting him, splashing over his face. He held his breath, and the flames came back brighter than ever. “Debug mode” was there again, and page after page of hexadecimal digits.

Something about the digits told him what to do. “Timescale 0.1,” Stan thought to himself.

To his great surprise, the magic took effect. Elly’s moaning dropped in pitch to a deep bass rumble. The spray of pussy juices became a gentle shower. Now he had time to think. He moved slowly and deliberately as he gave her clit another lick in slowed-down time.

“fov 360,” thought Stan. Woah, neat. It was like that fisheye lens hack, only somehow without distortion. Eyes in the back of his head? More like he was nothing but eyes. He could see everywhere. There was the rule book, dropped on the floor. Maybe it included some documentation. He flicked through the pages, reading as he gave Elly’s pussy some more leisurely licks.

It was on the last page. “Although fellatio is both permitted and recommended, it is _strictly forbidden_ to allow a mortal to perform cunnilingus on you, or to otherwise allow him to ingest your vaginal fluids. Magical side effects are possible, including awakening of arcane powers in the mortal. Naturally, this will be severely punished.”

If he wasn’t so busy licking Elly’s pussy, Stan would have laughed. He could see why she needed remedial training. She’d _really_ fucked up this time. With his magical time hack he could easily divide his attention between licking and swallowing. Lick to keep her cumming, and swallow to ingest every drop. Reality’s debug console swarmed with information. He could see the patterns. He could _understand_.

Her juices felt thick and heavy as they sloshed down his throat in slow motion. Every mouthful gave him more power, more control. The numbers spread to cover his entire spherical field of vision, and updated with frame rate beyond any gaming monitor. He was a pussy-licking god.

A quick burst of focused concentration, and he remodeled his stomach to channel strange arcane dimensions for greater capacity. The mental effort needed to coalesce the spilled fluid was trivial in comparison. It too was swallowed. Almost as an afterthought, he collected his own spilled semen and teleported it into the center of the sun.

He increased his time perception back to normality. No more need for speed hacks to give good head. He projected his consciousness into third person view, and watched Elly writhe on his bed as he ate her out. She rolled her eyes and moaned with pleasure.

After what felt like hours, but which his internal clock told him was only eleven minutes and ten seconds, Elly finally finished cumming. He stood up and looked at her with natural vision.

“Wuuhhh…” She blinked and wiped the sweat off her brow. “What was that? Stan, that was incredible.”

“I don’t think a portal to Hell belongs here,” said Stan. He dismissed it with a wave of his finger. “And I don’t think an evil demon belongs here either. I could destroy you with a word.” He looked down at her, extended a finger, and… He couldn’t bring himself to do it. Evil or not, there was a sexy woman in his bed. He couldn’t just kill her. And it was past midnight. He’d turned thirty without even noticing. “I have a better idea,” said Stan. “Hold still.”

It was against the natural order of things. Succubi were evil, no doubt about it, but what was evil in the face of ultimate arcane power? He concentrated all his magical power to a sharp focus and turned it on her body. Elly’s eyes rolled back in her head, and her body convulsed. She tried to scream. Flames surrounded her—red, orange, white. He could feel his own power fading as he cast the purifying fire upon her.

Stan sat down in his gaming chair, exhausted.

“Ow, ow, you big meanie!” cried Elly. “That really hurt. What did you do?”

“I think you’ll find it quite impossible to damn any more souls to Hell.”

“Then I can never go home! You’re horrible!”

“Am I really? Do you _want_ to go home?”

Elly slowly began to smile. “Hey, you’re right. If I go home they’d give me 1000 years of remedial training at least. And we can have all the sex we like now! You’re smart. Let’s have sex to celebrate.”

“Are you joking? I’ve got magical power, and it’s not going to last forever. I’m not wasting it on sex. I have something _important_ to do.” He logged back on to the dueling server.

His friends were all there. “yo, Apprentice, welcome back,” said BlazeIt420.

“guess I was feeling down cause I was about to turn 30 and still hadn’t gotten laid,” said Stan, or Apprentice as the dueling server knew him.

“Hey don’t worry bout it” said BlazeIt420.

“disregard females, acquire leet skillz” said MegaDonkeyDick.

“So it’s your birthday now?” asked BlazeIt420.

“yeah,” Apprentice replied.

“Grats man. Everybody else in queue go spec. Birthday present for Apprentice.”

The messages of congratulations came in.

“Thanks guys. And you know what happens when you turn 30 and you’re still a virgin, right?” He pulled down the console, and began to type:

“name Wizard”

“Fuck yeah!” said BlazeIt420. “30 years untouched by thotdom.”

“Let’s rematch,” said Wizard. “I’m feeling *good*.”

Elly was complaining, but he wasn’t going to let any naked woman distract him, no matter how much she begged for sex. He’d show them who was king of DM6. Wizard took up his shotgun and rejoined the fight.

**Author's Note:**

> It's another "virgin gets a magical girlfriend" fic, but I hope I've made it different enough. Any feedback appreciated.


End file.
